Dev D review - Emosanal Attyachar – not for the faint hearted (A):

The Background:
Nopes, writing this review was not at all there on my “to blog” list 5 mins back. Was having a conversation on the recently seen movies with a frend when she mentioned that she was writing something and I said I am yet to finish writing abt my panchgani trip, jus too bored these days to write abt anything and as an afterthought jus said that mebbe I shud write a review on dev d ..that wil get me all excited and she responded sayin that will excite everyone…n I decided to give it a shot….n a statutory warning before you go ahead…Read it at your own risk….

The Rating:
Apparently the movie had got great reviews, 5 stars which obviously meant I couldn’t miss the movie. And I have always considered Abhay Deol to be a good actor…so decided to go for it and experience the modern take on Dev D by Anurag Kashyap.

The Movie:
The basic plot sticks to the story of Devdas, with extra adult content added...So the movie has a bunch of despos who are too horny waitin to get into the bed with any1 he/she can possibly lay hands (other body parts included) on…
Dev/ Paro track:
The movie starts with a 5 min flashback and then the dirty talk between Dev and Paro with dialogues like:
Dev: Do you touch yourself? And
Dev: Tumhari ek tasveer bhejo
Paro: Hai toh tumhare paas
Dev: Bina kapdon ke…..well that pretty much sets up the tone for the entire movie…
So after seein Paros nude pic (the face loses its importance here…whoever said gud luks are important??), dev decides to come back to India, basically to have sex with Paro which is evident from the fact that as soon as he sees her, instead of starting with a hi-hello, dev tries to get all over her, but the scene gets interrupted with the entrance of Paro’s dad ..…And if you thought only Dev was horny, wait a minute…Paro packs a punch too…rather much more than a punch as explained below: …
Paro: Mera Dev aa gaya hai. Mujhe tere kamre ki chaavi de
Sunil (who is sum random naukar) : Paro, main tum se pyar karta hoon
Paro: Maine tujhe kabhi mana kiya hai kya kuch karne se…waise tu kuch kar bhi nahi sakta…Nahi chahiye teri chaavi…
All the while there is some wedding happening in the background…though I couldn’t really figure out whose wedding was it, my best guess was it was Dev’s brother’s. And in the wedding you come across another despo, Rasika (the only decent lukin chick in the movie) who is awestruck by the fact that Dev is from London where she intends to go and then takes Dev to car from where they go to a Stable to have sex, but Dev stops after smooching…though in the entire context of the movie, I couldn’t understand y did he stop…anyways he returns to the wedding and overhears Sunil (the naukar) talking dirty abt Paro…Dev goes to him and he tells Dev abt Paros extraordinary abilities in bed “ Maa-kasam, palang tod deti hai”. Dev gets up and smashes a bottle onto his head…
Meanwhile our Ms hornie, denied a key by Sunil, manages to take a mattress from her house carryin it on a bicycle all the way to the green lush fields where she sets it up and calls dev there (and the audience keep wondering y the heck did she need a key in the first place)…And as soon as Dev arrives, our heroine topples him over WWF style , removes his clothes when Dev remarks “ Wahan se haath nikaal”, and gets up, calls her a slut, slaps her and then walks out….Dev decides he doesn’t want to marry his Paro and Paro decides to marry a guy named Bhuvan (Rasika s Brother and a father of 2 kids) who had got horny when he saw Paro in the wedding…And in between al this, Dev has sex with Rasika….And then Paro-Bhuvan marriage is highlighted by Paros dance and the song Emosanal Attyachar which again is highlighted by the lyrics “Bol bol why did u ditch me whore?” No clue as to what was this song doin during the wedding…Anyways moving ahead, Paro gets married and Dev takes to drinking….
Now for Chanda’s track:
Lenne (I guess her name thou not sure) is a school gal who is goin around with some random guy who takes her to a room, shoots sum scenes and sends across to every1 via MMS (basically the MMS scandal)…Post this the school gals life is ruined and so is her family’s….Her parents take her to some remote place and as she is just about to step out of her house for a walk,her parents ask her to go in and she retorts “I am just goin out for a walk. I am not goin to suck every c**k that comes my way” And u get a glimpse of wat Lennes track is goin to be…Her parents force her inside when her Dad asks," how could u do that…I have seen that video" and she retaliates, “How could you see that video?” ..its too much for her dad and he shoots himself…And quite expectedly she ends up being a prostitute and takes the name Chanda….Till here the movie is tolerable to say the least, but beyond this u r jus waiting for the movie to end….
Dev ends up at Chandas place on 1 fine night when he asks “how old are you” and she responds “old enough to get into bed with you” then some chemistry (add physics and biology as well) develops between them with scenes like them eating momos at a dhaba, jumping into a swimming pool in the middle of a night, etc etc…also add havin cocaine together,,,,And in between all that, there is also a scene where Dev calls up Paro and asks her to come and meet him and she lands up at his house in the middle of the night and randomly starts cleaning his room and sits down to wash his clothes..Audience is just left wondering “wat in the world is happening…atleast if they would have shown Rin or Vim bar we would have understood it was an advertising gimmick,,but alas it wasn’t even that!!!!!” Dev tries to have sex with Paro and for the first tym in the movie, our miss hornie refuses and throws in sum dialogues (don recollect exact words but they were on similar lines as above)…wow!!! Ethics!!!!!!!!!!there sure was a lot of that in the movie…
But as the love story or rather the lust story between Dev-Chanda begins to develop, a customer (m using the most decent language I can) comes looking for Chanda and Dev decides to leave it at that….Then the director throws in the angle of drink and drive cases where dev runs over few ppl lyin on the footpath…he is arrested …but released on bail to perform last rites of his father…he then tries to run and all of a sudden when he was almost goin to b killed by a car, he realizes all his wrong doings, starts seacrhin for Chanda and decides to give in to the police…Not convincing at all,,,One jus fails to understand the character of Devdas in the entire movie…
The movie is torturous to say the least…and one can jus feel only relieved when it ends…

And for the characters, Abhay Deol is gud in the movie, so is Mahi (Paro) minus her looks,,,but the movie contains nothing except sex….And the movie reminded me of Life in a Metro which again revolved around sex….and at the end of it (in both movies) u lose a count of who slept with whom??.So now if at all anybody wanted to go for the movie based on the excellent reviews…think again…And if anybody has got excited reading the review, I would suggest watch a porn movie instead…btw 1 positive aspect abt the movie..the background score…twas gud….hey coming to think of it…I actually managed to finish a post in 1 go from start to end after a long tym…..hopefully next post wud b on the Panchgani trip…..