A “Cocktail”
without the kick!
When you run, hop , jump and reach
the theatre for watching a Hindi film running out of time, gasping for breath
and then getting to know that the tickets available are in the first row, all that you pray is the
that the movie is good & it’s worth all the effort, especially on a Sunday
morning!
Few years back I suffered from this
“Run-to-catch-a-movie” syndrome, but managed to enjoy all such movies, be it –
Rang de Basanti or Gangster!
This time it was different..!
After all the annoying
advertisements, especially the Vicco Vajradanti ones (which my hubby loves) came
the teaser of “Ek Tha Tiger”!! (Whistles!!!) Salman Khan in his always sexy avatar
and his beau Katrina Kaif :-p and the action scenes. Full paisa-vasool …! After
recovering from this, came the national anthem & then the movie –
C-O-C-K-T-A-I-L
The movie starts with the not-so-appealing,
psycho maniac; women obsessed Saif Ali Khan (Gautam KAPOOR) hitting on an air-hostess in the flight. He talks like a
zombie who has lived all his life in the woods amongst animals and his eyes are
now preying all the gorgeous ladies in the world. He is a “software engineer” who is on his way
to a super-lavish job in London. All his dialogues in the movie are those
minutes when you eagerly want him to shut up!! You have heard most of them in
Love Aaj Kal!!! Wtf !!
Next scene, focus Diana Penty (Meera) sits in another
plane to the same destination in search for her newly wedded husband. Certainly,
her attire, hair-do and simple looks is quiet convincing the character she is
required to play – the soft & subtle Meera! J
She then gets off at the airport,
goes looking for her husband, with an incorrect phone number & address only
to go through an ordeal later when she finds out her marriage was “hoax” and
her husband (Randeep Hooda) has done all this only for money! Hit by this emotional turmoil within a day of
her entry into London, she finds herself in the washroom of a local store, in
tears and distress!
Enter – Deepika Padukone (Veronica), the madly dancing, always boozing, oomph
factor oozing girl who steps into a pub and makes the crowd go “Aaaaaaaaaaa….” (The audience had their heads paining and
screaming and begging to stop the damn lights & music) though she conveys
it across rightly with her acting that Veronica had a troubled childhood, which
propelled her to seek refuge in alcohol and hard core partying.
Lots of colorful disco lights,
falling on to the laps of girls & guys, smoked eyes and the urge to pee
after a lot of alcohol makes her walk in to the same washroom as Meera. The
otherwise psyched out girl feels pity for this Indian abla naari and takes her
home, gives her food, clothing everything on –the-house! (Woooaaaa now who
would do that!)
Few days later, Veronica and Gautam
bump into one another and after gulping down lots of daaru end up sleeping with
each other. So they begin with a casual fling without any commitment. Meera ji
is not very happy with this new additional member in the house initially, but
within the next few minutes and one “Daaru Desi” song you see them hanging out
intermittently with each others like chaddi buddies!
All this while Veronica and Gautam
are enjoying each other’s company and the three are having a ball in their
apartment where Gautam is dancing in the avatar of a cross dresser. Must
highlight, Saif doesn’t look good there at all and hasn’t done a great job! A Ritesh Deshmukh would have been perfect
for that scene!
A “Maa da ladla” déjà vu happens
when Dimple Kapadia (Kavita Kapoor) and Boman Irani (Gautam’s Maama) is aghast
and taken aback to see her laadla
son in this avataar sharing a room with 2 ladies and Gautam convincingly spins
a story that Meera, the coy girl is his muse! From there on things take a turn!
All of a sudden they plan a trip to Capetown! Now there are some points which
are beyond my thinking and imagination capacity:-
Meera, the angel who just got a new job
in some graphic designing company can afford a holiday to Capetown within the
first week of joining. (I want to know which Co. this is & join there right
away!!!)
Deepika is a self proclaimed photographer,
but throughout the movie I fail to understand why she is not doing her job! And
prancing around on bar tables and drinking!?
Gautam!!! - Software engineer, Which Co. has employed you to play
around with women and dance and party and holiday! (Never saw him “at work”
except one scene!!!) :-O
Capetown
holiday is a mere display of many sun-kissed beaches, bikini clad girls and a
dance sequence during which Gautam suddenly realizes he is in love with Meera! Meera
doesn’t refuse his kiss and they hold hands! So we assume she also is in love!
She has forgotten about her estranged husband and her tragedy struck life. They
try staying apart but they can’t. Finally Gautam decides to “talk it out” with
both the ladies and openly blurts it out all to Veronica that he is now in
“love” with Meera!
The chilled, cool Veronica is all
happy and wow for her “friends” and decides to set them up together for always.
But slowly starts feeling the pinch! She starts feeling jealous & realizes
she cannot live any more without Gautam’s touch and smell!! (Rofl)
More disco lights, more alcohol,
more mad dancing, hair let loose, breaking mirrors at public places and an
accident drags Gautam in to living in with her and her “closest friend” Meera
steps out of the house! (Qurbaani) and goes back to her husband so that Randeep
Hooda gets some more screen time and 3 more dialogues! :-p
OMG! This story is so boring now,
that I am bored to even review it further! And then suddenly Veronica realizes that
she has been unreasonable and that the alcohol in her body has spoken more than
her. So Gautam and Veronica fly to India and they propose to Meera. Of course
in the end we assume that Gautam has finally married Meera and only hope they
are not having an awesome threesome! :-p
Cocktail has a tagline which says “Some friends are too good to share”
The movie may migrate you to the
much more happening world called London for some time, but overall it’s like a
Cocktail that you ordered out of the menu card of an expensive lounge but
didn’t get you high enough!
2 comments:
Wow; you have written it so well..humorous and a great message to convey "don't waste your money and watch it in theatre."
Pathetic Movie...
Also, few more surprising facts
Dimple Kapadia flew to London on a tourist visa, and immediately got another visa to fly into cape town ! me likes !!
Also, its summer in London and summer in South Africa..unlikely bazinga !!
Forget the rest... btw, i LOVE the vicco commercials too.. :-)
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